Rupert Campbell-Black, all-conquering racehorse owner-trainer and handsomest man in England, is in the darkest of places.

His adored wife, Taggie, is about to undergo chemotherapy. His beloved leading stallion has been assassinated. Now his daughter Bianca is badgering him to buy into a failing local football club, Searston Rovers, so he can sign up her superstar striker boyfriend, Feral Jackson, and he and Bianca can return home from Perth to look after Taggie.

Rupert dislikes football and his first impressions of Searston are distinctly unfavourable. But as their new and indelibly competitive Chairman, he won’t stand for anything less than an Everest climb to the top of the Premier League.

With the help of the club’s ravishing and adorable secretary, Tember West, and his sassy Press Officer, Dora Belvedon, he becomes increasingly fond of his riotous mix of players, despite bawling them out whenever they face defeat.

Rupert’s explosive arrival at Searston causes outrage, so the fights are as furious off the field as on – particularly when glamorous WAGS flood in to stir up trouble and lust after Rupert…

Nor do the rival local football team, their duplicitous chairman and their corrupt dealings make things easier – let the scandals, sabotage and seductions begin…